Tunes

I have been having a tough time with nurturing lately. I have been resentful that I am always the one to have to nurture myself. I get angry at my mother for not being there for me when I was growing up and I get mad at my best friend for being too busy to see me (seeing him gives me a break from holding myself up and together). In getting angry like this I realized that if I were stronger in myself I wouldn't feel the need to be nurtured and held. I also realized that the more I truly take care of myself the easier it gets.

So tonight after doing a days work on myself and trying desperately to hold onto the progress I have made in recovery thus far, I looked through my iTunes to find something nurturing to listen to while I read, I wanted something that would hold me, wrap itself around me and keep me warm and safe. And of course I turned to tunes. Depriving myself of tunes because I am afraid of loving them too much is one of the worst things I can do for myself, it is almost worse than avoiding food.

So I flipped through my tune collection and came across a band called Lunasa, lovely lovely, warm and safe and comforting. Complex without being complicated. Exactly what I need.